Uncomfortable Realizations

I turned 20 last month and ever since then I feel like I have entered a new phase of self-actualization. Or maybe "entered" isn't the right word, because it's more like I forced myself into it. I had a talk with myself that went something like this, "Self, you are now 20. It's time to be a real person. Man up."

Anyway, I decided to assess the things in my life that I have unhealthy addictions to or just unacceptable behaviors for an adult and the list was way way too long. The first one, and possibly the most time consuming one, is my addiction to craigslist. I decided to dedicate a whole post of my personal blog to this addiction, so you can check that out here: My Craigslist Addiction

But other than craigslist, I have found a whole variety of other behaviors that I need to get in CHECK.

1. I can't go a day without texting. I keep trying and failing really hard. I can barely even go 3-4 hours without sending a text. I text in class even though I think it's RUDE but I try to conditionalize it by saying things like "oh, but I really NEED to tell him/her this" or "this part of class isn't THAT important." But really, I should just accept the face that I am one of those kids that is rude and texts in class and need to CLEAN UP MY ACT. Until then I will be saddled with guilt.

2. I still call my mom when I have problems even if there is no way she could ever help fix them. Like, "Hey mom... my bank account wont let me withdraw money, HELP ME!!" No, I don't actually need her help. I know how to fix this situation.  CALL THE DAMN BANK NOT YOUR MOM, LAURA. or, "Mom, my throat hurts and I feel sick and I have a fever...." Ok, but what could my mom really do about this? Nothing. Normally I realize this halfway through explaining my sickness and then just make an excuse to hang up so that I feel like less of an adult failure.

3. I wont buy new underwear. This is probably the most awkward habit that I have. I am still wearing underwear that I KNOW I bought in 8th grade. How do I know this? They are from Merveyns (Sp???). And that store definitely went out of business about 4 years ago. Slash I stopped shopping there when my mom stopped buying me clothes. And that was definitely before high school. *sigh* So I have this routine where after I do my laundry I assess which underwear is acceptable to wear in a situation when SOMEBODY ELSE might SEE it. Then I make piles of "me only" underwear and "other people acceptable" underwear. If days of the week are written on them, then they are defaulted to the me pile. If there is any form of lace on them, they go into the other people pile. Get it? But really, the "me only" pile is getting a little too big. So I need to prioritize, throw away some undies, stop spending all of my money on Best of Thai, and invest in some new underwear STAT.

That is all for now. I hope you feel uncomfortable.

<3 Laura